The Beard Struggle


Author: The Beard Struggle

Published at: Jul 23, 2021

In previous blog post I have lightly touched upon the best ways to eat certain challenging foods and drinks when you have a fuzzy face full of beardy whiskers.

Today, I wanted to break it down a little and gift you a few simple pointers of which I have learned over the years of being a proud beardsmen, so without any further ado, here's Eating Tricky Foods With A Beard Made Simple...

First up, if you're anything like me and you'll rather like a frothy coffee and a good bite to eat, the chances are you have probably figured out some tricks of which you already follow. Despite everything being straightforward and simplified I still find myself getting into a pickle every now and again, finding myself wearing most of my lunch within my face fluff rather than eating it.

I'm not trying to teach Grandmother to suck eggs here, (another terribly British saying, go ahead, Google away!) or anything of the sort, but simply share how I choose to nosh down my grub with minimal spillages or mishaps.

Firstly, let's break down whatever it is we are eating. If you are out at the restaurant with your good lady, or at the bar with a couple of your Bros, you might fancy that spaghetti bolognaise, or that double stacker burger with plenty of extra cheese, but you don't fancy getting all hot, sweaty and messy in front of the wrong people.

I can relate to this when I visited Mcdonalds a few weeks ago. I'm a total sucker for a Big Mac, but when browsing the new menu I spotted a burger named 'The Big Tasty with bacon burger meal. After I ordered my food I did not hold out much hope in the thing looking nearly as 'Big 'n' Tasty' as it did on the menu, but how wrong was I! This thing was huge and oozing goodness from every orifice.

We had chosen to sit in and eat together with the kids, my kids I may add, I didn't just ponder in and gatecrash a children's birthday party celebration or anything of the sort, as this kind of behaviour would quickly see me removed from the restaurant, and more importantly my 'Big Tasty burger meal', and I would probably end up behind bars for a while too.

My first thought was to dive right in a get to know this mouth watering burger up close and personal, but I couldn't, and why? because if I did I would quickly resemble Hannibal Lecter in 'Silence Of The Lambs' when he debrains his victim and wears the majority of his chosen dish all over his face.

I had to be thoughtful, tactful if you like, and eat with my top table manners. Truth be told all I wanted to do was get a room with my newfound favourite burger and get real messy, but I chose better against it. Instead what I did was find a plastic knife, began cutting up my food into more 'bite sized' beard friendly manageable size portions. So, my advice would be whenever possible, don't avoid your most favourite food choices, but instead break it down and enjoy it!

Some drinks can be equally as challenging to say the least, I love a good throthy Starbucks and a treatful Costa iced coffee with extra whipped cream and sprinkles on top. Don't judge!

Thankfully you don't have to wave the white flag and surrender to drinking such beverages, you just have to adapt ever so slightly to make sipping such drinks less stressful and messful.

You can always choose to use the sippy cup lids that most take out coffee shops readily provide with your 'cup to go', or maybe try using a straw, less mess all round for all ages with those bad boys!

If neither option tickles your fancy you might want to invest in a little known device I discovered on the internet, known as 'Whisker Dam'. But whatever is a this contraption I hear you all ask, well this little neat creation sits on the rim of your cup, glass, bucket, Viking horn or whatever else you sip from, and works as a handy little barrier, helping keep your moustache away from being dunked into your drink.

A simple, yet rather handy little creation wouldn't you agree?

With most things in life there's usually a way around such obstacles. It's about finding the right approach to the little things rather than trying to avoid them. And eating and sipping your favourite food and drinks are no different.

I hope my little lighthearted blog may come in handy for those of you who have taken the time aside to read it. As always let us have your thoughts and feedback in the comments section below, have a great weekend and I'll see you again next week!

And until next time Beard on Brothers, Beard on...
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